I belt out songs in my car when I drive, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. And hey, I know you do it too.
But do I mean what I sing? Most of the time it’s mindlessly singing random country songs or whatever I find on my phone that day, but when I am home, I throw on the XM Christian radio station and really let it rip. These songs tend to get me thinking about the big claims that the artists are making. Can I fully claim the lyrics with all the confidence the music makes them so easy to say? This line always stops me in my tracks:
“Break my heart for what breaks Yours.”
Wow. Usually that’s one that I sing emphatically but think about it. Sit back for a second and actually think about what you are requesting when singing that line. That’s an all-inclusive statement! If I’m asking God to break my heart for EVERYTHING that breaks His then I had better be ready for an eternity’s worth of heartbreak. I drove by a car crash the other night and felt my heart crumble to pieces and I understood on a miniscule scale of how God’s heart breaks for injustice. Yet, I didn’t know these people and God knows every hair on their heads, and still my heart broke. To feel God’s heartbreak for what breaks his is to feel hurt at every instance in the world of hunger, sadness, grief, disappointment, loss, and so much more. Am I ready for that?
Luckily, (or should I say providentially?) God’s heart breaks at the same time it is completely more whole than I could ever imagine. This paradox saves us from the crushing request to break with Him. Because if we break with God, we also heal with him. If we were to suffer in the same way He does, then we would be full of His perfect love. And that is what I am requesting. I shouldn’t be asking to be decimated but I should be asking to be built up with love. Maybe we should sing this instead:
“Make me love just like You do.”
So please break my heart to understand, but don’t leave it there in pieces. Build me back up, O Lord, so that I may more fully grasp your love. And I truly mean that.